Do you want to be successful in life?

I bet you do, everybody does.

Some wish to ride the corporate ladder, some can’t stop daydreaming about having a certain amount of money in their bank accounts, some are head-over-heels in love with the idea of changing the world.

Definitions of success sometimes even get more widespread. People want success in relationships, master a new skill or get what they desire.

However, irrespective of definition, people who attain the goal are a handful in number. For one successful individual, there are ten more who couldn’t make it.

Do you know why most people fail?

They ask the wrong question.

Success: Does it matter to know what you really want?

An individual can pursue only the things he desires and values. That’s why society tells everyone to find out what he/she wants. And it does make sense — you should be able to achieve things you are passionate about, don’t you?

The answer is —– not really. You just figured out only half of the puzzle. Everybody wants to be happy, secure a high paying job and look great. But such vague wishes take no one anywhere.

People want to get paid more. Yet the very idea of uncertain periods of unemployment sends chills down their spine. Instead of investing their time in learning or honing negotiation skill, they just sit and wish some more. This goes on for years. And they never earn the money they want.

Entrepreneurs start their journey with a dream of changing the world. Soon when the euphoria of new launch passes they see the world without rose colored glasses. Suddenly 60-hours work weeks become normal and obnoxious paperwork, anxiety, financial challenges engulf them. Most of the start-up dreamers crush beneath this weight.  They bow down and their dream shatters into pieces.

Young people fancy the idea of finding their dream partner and having a great sex life. Nevertheless, they never bother to go through the pain of meeting new people, practicing romantic skills and taking care of their body. Most of them just kill their free time reading worthless Buzzfeed article and munching cheesy pizzas. 10-15 years later they settle with a mediocre partner (because that the best they can get) and regret in silence.

Knowing what they want doesn’t work for any of them. It will not work for you too.

Life is not all rainbows and sunshine—–success  requires struggle. And unless you love the struggle itself, you won’t able to survive the journey to top and taste of success would be out of your reach forever.

What should you ask yourself instead?

As a human being, you have plenty option to choose from. But whatever you pick, pain is the price you pay to achieve the glory and happiness. There is no exception. And different goals require different kind of pain. If you can embrace certain kind of pain, a specific reward is waiting for you.

So ask yourself what pain do you want to embrace? What are you willing to struggle for?

Elite athletes, for example, accept the drudgery of regular practice, strict diet and physical injuries. In return, they achieve superhuman strength, agility and above all, the glory.

Tech geniuses choose to spend 16 hours/day in front of the computer, learn new coding practices like their life depends on it, and examine 10000 lines of code for one small bug. They are the ones who hold power reshape our lives with few lines of codes.

Successful entrepreneurs learn to take the risk, push their boundaries and prepare for the worst. They genuinely love this roller coaster ride of risk and gain.

In short, the nature of success or reward is dependent on the struggle you choose.

So take you time and find out the perfect flavor of shit sandwich for yourself. Sure, the answer will not be simple and will take some serious introspection from your part. But, it will save you and your dream from being shattered.

Success is not only about the grit. It is all about embracing right kind of struggle and surviving the grind. So choose your battle wisely, my friend.